Hannah's Heartstrings

I came to three rather prominent conclusions today.

1. Sometimes I really hate internet chat. It is so hard to decipher people's feelings and thoughts through typed messages. Its so much easier when you're able to see their faces and hear their voices. Online chat can be the best thing in the world, but there are times when it frustrates me to no end.

2. Sometimes I really envy men's ability to only think of one thing at a time. It can be a real burden to always be thinking of a dozen things all at once, and not be able to put thoughts out of my mind that I'd rather not think about. My mind can't rest. Its always going, going, going. I've tried very hard to only focus on one thing at a time. I can't. Don't get me wrong...multi-tasking is helpful. Just tiring.

3. I think I talk too much, in spite of the people that think I am really quiet and don't talk enough. You can't imagine how many times I think "Man, me and my big mouth. Why, oh why, did I say that??"

There you have it. Three thoughts from my weird and crazy mind.

My heart bathed in peace
I smiled to myself
And felt
A strange sensation.
Something was gone
But I hadn’t missed it.
Everything was right
Yet something was lost.

Then in hit me
Like the sun’s brightness as it breaks the dawn,
I am not afraid.
I am not afraid.

I should be, for there is so much to be scared of.
But my fear is gone.
Nothing can shake me.
I fear nothing.
I am not afraid.

The Word of God has gently whispered to my heart.
“Fear not.”
My heart whispers in return. “Yes, Lord.”
My fears melt away
Slowly
Silently
Until I am struck by the knowing that
I am not afraid.
My God is for me. What can man do to me? My God is bigger than anything I fear. What shall separate me from the Love of Christ? Shall tribulation, poverty, loneliness, hunger, confrontation, pain, illness, worry, anger, wars?
I am persuaded.
My God shall overcome all.
My God holds me in the palm of His hand.
Nothing shall separate me from His love.
And I am not afraid
I am not afraid.
I am not afraid.
I AM NOT AFRAID!

The past attempts to weigh me down
As fears would grip my heart.
I almost missed what was right in front of me
All for looking at my own scars.
Giving up what I couldn’t hold;
I’d wanted something that wasn’t true.
A new dance was there, I almost didn’t see;
Forgiving myself was the least I could do.
Simple enough, just pick up and move on---
Why had I never done this before?
Learn from my mistakes, but don’t let them be chains;
There’s so much to life, oh! So much more!
Ther right words, the right time,
Like one glorious fairy tale.
Giving me the freedom and strength,
To more than conquer and prevail.
I turn my back on my broken road
And watch the one before me shine.
Fears and struggles will come, I know
But glory is revealed in this life of mine.

By Hannah McMichael

I am scared
I am small
Far beyond my comfort zone
I pray and
I dream
Stand shaking all on my own

I’ve made every move that I dared
I’ve stepped out do much further than before
I open my hands and painfully wait
No way to do less, no way to do more

Am I in the right scene?
What’s my next line?
It’s dark out now
Am I doing this right?
Are my tears in vain?
Are my worries unjust?
Is there still more I need
In learning to trust?

So much is at stake
One wrong move
One wrong step
And all I lose

Dancing on glass
Forward and back
To far, too close?
Too much, not enough?

I don’t know the next part
This is strange and foreign ground
I don’t know what else to do
Besides wait like always before

I’m not supposed to doubt
Or fear
Or worry
But I will never be strong enough to surrender without crying.
I am not big enough to dream without fearing.
The faith and love of my Lord is carries me through, because my faith quivers.

Everything strives to discourage me,
To tell me I hope in vain. But…

The Voice of Truth tell me
Your Blessings come in disguise.
So While I’m Waiting, Broken and Spilled Out,
I’ll Stand.
I Worship You
for You are My All in All.
I am a flower quickly fading,
but Great Are You, Lord.
Everything rides on Hope Now,
So, Jesus, Bring the Rain.
I Will Follow, No Matter What,
With Arms Wide Open,
Sweetly Broken, holy surrender.

By Hannah McMichael