I've been pondering the words on this Facebook ad for the last few days. The video shows a girl crying and texting her friend, saying she and (presumably) her boyfriend just broke up. The next scene shows the two friends hugging and crying together, wiping each others' tears. Aww.
So the video is cute and touching and all, but its the caption that got me. Love can be tough, but friendship lasts forever. The first part is ok, even true, because love is tough sometimes.
But "friendship lasts forever." What?
Clearly whoever wrote that is about ten years old and did so while having a sleepover and making friendship bracelets. Actually, I take that back. Most kids I've known have a far better handle on what it means to be a friend than some adults.
Friendships take work. Sure you can hit it off and be best of friends right off the bat. But at one point or another, you are going to hit a rough point. You are going to be at odds about something, argue, get frustrated, not understand each other. Its what people do. And it takes effort and work to get through those points.
But guess what? That's life.
Things hurt. People say things they don't think about. Arguments happen. So do we just pack up our toys and run home crying? I guess some people do. But where do we get this "friendship lasts forever" fantasy?
The simple fact is this: friendship doesn't last forever unless you want it to, and unless you put the work into it. Just like a marriage isn't going to last unless you value it, work at it, and keep it alive, so friendship is the same. It takes time and effort, forgiveness and having the courage to pick things up when they fall apart.
I admit I'm not always the best friend I could be. I say the wrong things. I forget about writing to you, and then just pop up out of the blue. I will probably offend you, and I will say hard things. But I will be honest with you. I will try my hardest to fix things that break. I will be open and real. And if its my honesty, openness and realness that causes you not to be able to trust me...then we've got bigger problems.
Everyone wants a friend that will be there forever.
But not everyone wants to do what it takes to make that possible.
ReplyDeleteThis is really true. Friendship doesn't last forever. Maybe as children we actually understood certain truths that adults tend to forget, or else it just came more easily to us. As we age, we tend to grow a bit more lazy with the relationships in our lives. As children we worked at the relationship and we did so with excitement - letters, emails, phone calls about all sorts of little things, confidence, etc. We expected them to always be that way, but as time goes by, suddenly we tend to find ourselves drifting apart whether this is literally due to moves, busy lives, or changes in personality it's hard to say.... Still, this doesn't mean we have to say goodbye. With a little work, a deeper kind of friendship can return. One that doesn't necessarily depend on frequency of interaction but rather respect and diligence. Thanks for the post, Hannah!