As much I love peace and quiet, I love chaos and craziness. Yeah, I'm nuts. You know the mad rush to get everyone dressed and in the car by a certain time on Sunday mornings for church? I love that. I've always loved that. It scares me, but maybe that's why I love it so much.



Our dryer busted, and thankfully we had our first fully 70 degree day this spring, simultaneously. So I was hanging laundry outside for the first time this year, just Tuesday. Oooh, it felt so lovely! The wind was vicious, whipping so hard I could barely stand straight. At one point, I stopped fighting it, and just threw my arms out, faced the wind and absorbed it. I giggled like a giddy school girl. It was thrilling and beautiful and...dangerous. And I loved it.There is so much in the world that tells us to be safe. They make safer cars, safer houses, no-slip shoes, you name it. And while I agree we cannot live recklessly or put other people in danger, this safety obsession is affecting our hearts. The world has forgotten how to live adventurously, even wild and dangerously. Why is it I find such pleasure in the Sunday morning rush, or in a vicously windy day? Because it's wild and adventurous!




There is so much in life to be excited about. God is just pouring love and blessing my socks off. He loves me and romances me. He's given me beautiful keys of healthy living and taught me how to keep my body vibrantly and exuberantly healthy. My family loves me. I have countless friends who are ever so dear to me, and several "adopted" siblings and families. I have people that love me for reasons I am yet to understand. I am part of a ministry that surprises me and blesses me every single day. Oh, dear Lord! I don't deserve such goodness.




So much has led up to this point. God has been preparing me, through the heartaches, uncertainties, frustrations, health mysteries, and journeys of faith, for this moment. Everything has been leading up to now. And now is when my resolve is tested, my courage tried. Will I be able to stand? Will I be strong enough? Well, probably not, because I am human. But it is because I am human that God is my strength. With Him, and only with Him, will I presevere and remain true to all He has taught me.




So much depends on now. The future, generations to come, the rest of my life, the lives of others, hearts and people are depending on me. So many watch to see my next move, as if in a game of chess where I am the piece that determines the rest of the game.



I've been given all the pieces of this puzzle, and I have one chance to put them together right. God does that sometimes...He hands us things which we never wished for, and that we do not know we are prepared for. I never wished to lead. I have always been a follower. Now, I am looked to as the leader. Yet, what they sometimes do not realize is that I am a leader that can go nowhere without my people around me. I am nothing without them. I was prepared for this, and never knew it. I'm still not sure how I feel about being a leader. Part of me is honored to have this opportunity, and the other part wants to shake my head and hide behind the nearest person. Such mixed emotions...wishing to follow, and knowing I must lead, at least for a while.



That God could make a leader out of me is an impossible thought. And apparently I have a penchant for believing in the impossible. All the goodness I now see around me is impossible. It's impossible that the people who have chosen to love me could ever find reason to. Impossible that the beauty I see is real. Impossible that every dream I've ever dreamt could really come true.
Yet that is what faith can do...



"It doesn't matter what you've heard
Impossible is not a word
Its just a reason for someone not to try
Everybody's scared to death
When they decide to take that step
Out on the water, but it'll be alright

I've seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn't ever end
Even when the sky is falling
I've seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That's what faith can do!"


And now, as I promised my dear Auntie Lisa, a movie review...my thoughts on the film "To Save a Life".



It was as good as I had expected, possibly better. I was impressed with the actors, and moreso with the fact that someone had chosen to make a movie that hit home on some very important issues of life. The message was clear---people are hurting, and we can help.


Growing up in a conservative Christian home, I had been told about the struggles many people go through...drugs, self-abuse, teen pregnancies, suicide, etc. But things like that hit a lot harder when they are presented in a way that is personal and real. These aren't just things that happen in a land far, far away. They happen here, now, in the next house, to the person at the next table and the person behind you at the checkout. All around, life is dark and bitter for so many people. And by one simple act of love, that life can suddenly take on a whole different color.


All in all, To Save a Life was a movie worth watching, but I'd say for anyone over 16. Fast forward through the first party scene (the only part, really, that I thought would have been better left out of the movie, though I understand their point and why they put it in.). The end was confusing, and I'm still not sure about it, but it worked, the story got told, and they all lived happily ever after. :)