This Is Who I Am

So many voices
So many demands
How do I feel? And what do I think?
Faces pressing in around me
Waiting for my next move
“What next? What now?
Make your decision fast, girl.”
I strive to hold a standard
Amidst voices demanding my reasons
Trying to get me to doubt
Trying to make me question what I know is right.
I cannot please everyone,
Hard as I try.
There are limits to what I can say
And the things I can do.
Without them, I would fall apart.
They want me to lead
They want me to follow
And decide how I feel all at once.
I am not Superman
You cannot expect so much of me
Because you will be disappointed.
I am human
I am fallible.
That is why I depend on God.
I cannot make life-changing decisions at the drop of a hat
And even leaders cry.

So many voices seek
To challenge me
To make my convictions seem wrong
Because they hold ones different.
They believe I don’t respect them
But what they do not see
If that I must respect myself
Before I can respect anyone else.
How can I respect anyone,
How can I value, love and care for anyone
If I disregard everything I believe in?
As the poet said,
“I could not love thee, dear, so much,
Loved not I honor more.”

Within the raging winds that blow,
In the middle of the storm that
Wishes to knock me down,
Through the false judgments, misconceptions,
I plant my feet
I choose to stay strong
I will lead while I am needed
I will follow no matter the consequences.

Whether or not my convictions make sense
To the voices trying to derail me,
This is who I am
This is my heart
This is my soul
This is my life
Love me or leave,
But do not try to change me.

~Hannah McMichael
June 4, 2011

CONVERSATION

2 comments:

  1. Well said, Hannah. There ain't no worry! (Or hurry either for that matter.) Conflicts arise in life; that's just part of the territory - a deed you gotta sign to live on this planet. The thing that matters is how you deal with them. And I'm sure you're dealing fine. =) All you can do is say what you think and believe; others choose how they respond. And the things that seem bad often turn out for good! That's how the best things come about. =D Peace to you, Hannah!

    ~the king

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  2. Oh ... I synpathise with the emotion in this poem. You've really captured that inner/outer struggle. Thank you for sharing.

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