Hannah's Heartstrings

It’s the silliness of his Facebook picture being one of you,
Knowing that you’re both counting the days ‘till you say “I do”.
It’s the missing, waiting and the longing that makes your heart sing,
And the look in his eyes that makes you proud to be the girl that wears his ring.

It’s the sound of his voice when he says your name along with “I love you”,
It’s the smile he gives you that lets you know this dream is coming true,
It’s the love you share that flows around every tiny little thing,
And remind you just how blessed you are to be the girl that wears his ring.

It’s your future with him that’s waiting, full and silent and untold,
It’s the promise that you’ll give him with a shiny band of gold
Knowing, with God, you’ll make it through whatever life may bring
By everyday remembering why you’re the girl that wears his ring.

(for Nicole Cason who will marry David Hegstad on June 2, 2012)
By Hannah McMichael
Sept. 28, 2011

“It is who you are, not just what you do.” –Reb Bradley

Josh Harris recently posted an article by Reb Bradley entitled “Homeschool Blindspots”. It has hit homeschool circles like wildfire. I was no exception to those that read it and reposted it.

I told my friend and Auntie Lisa that I felt empty after reading the article. I couldn’t explain it at first, but I felt drained, as if something was being pulled from me and I was desperately trying to hang on.

I realized that many of the things that Mr. Bradley was hitting on were things I had experienced in my own life. I was “sheltered” to an extent (no TV for a time, only listening to hymns, etc.). I related to the section on judging (I had quite the attitude against women who wore pants or anyone that wasn’t homeschooled during different seasons of my life). Several points he made hit me smack in the heart. He was making these things sound horrible and I was not ready to give them up. I lived some of that. That was a part of who I was and who I became. And when someone tries to tell me that that part of me was wrong, my defense goes up.

My childhood experience in the conservative homeschool world was near as severe as Reb Bradley described in his article. And I loved it. If I had to do it over again, I’d want to be raised exactly the same way. It molded me into the person I am today. And it’s a part of me that will always remain.

Homeschooling isn’t the problem. Being conservative isn’t the problem. Courtship isn’t the problem. The people are the problem! We get is stuck in our thick brains that one process or way of life is more holy than another and then can’t understand why someone in our family fall off the bandwagon.

It’s not the word that’s important. It’s the idea, the mindset. Nothing was ever wrong with wanting something better for our children. It only became wrong when we made idols of such words as homeschooling and courtship.

Let’s go back to why people first fought for the right to homeschool. They wanted to give their kids a better education, a better social life and a better opportunity to serve God than what they could find in the public or private schools.

Fast forward thirty years and that’s exactly what I want for my children, only I want for them a better homeschool experience than what I had. I don’t even know what that might be, maybe one without silly inside jokes or one with a different kind of social life. I don’t know, its just what I desire.

But that’s not important. The words matter little if God is not behind them. Arguing whether homeschooling is better or not, or if homeschoolers are damaged by sheltering or not, really is a waste of time.

I was glad that Reb Bradley ended his article with the answer to the “problems” be described: Win your child’s heart. Cultivate a relationship with each of them. Turn their hearts towards God, not toward a formula. Instill in them a love and desire for God’s word.

The rest is up to God. Give your children the tools they need and let them choose how to use them. Encourage, pray and leave the result up to him.


Hannah McMichael
September 14, 2011

As I look back through the pages of my life
I see pieces marked with joy and some with strife
The hurt seems to stand out so much further than I’d like
It never fully goes away, though I always wish it might

But then I see
Someone smiling at me

And in a moment I’d go back down every broken road
I’d relive all the places that I chose to go
Through every single year
I’d cry every single tear
There’s nothing I would change
Nothing I would rearrange
I’d go through every heartache, every let down, every doubt and fear
I would do it all again because it brought me here.

by Hannah McMichael
Sept. 4, 2011

The choices you’ve made have brought you here
The consequence fills your heart with fear
You searched for love in all the wrong places
Instead you found hurt wearing all love’s faces
You’re left with a flower, bruised but still living
You cry when you think of the life that you’re giving

So much is lost, but something is found
A decision waits in your hands right now
So much is at stake; will you stand or run?
Do you have what it takes to finish what you’ve begun?
More will be lost in saving your pride
I know you are scared, but don’t run and hide

There’s still time to fix this; you’re not at the end
You don’t have to take the first choice the world sends
Come what may, you have the chance to do what’s right
You have the chance to save one innocent life
The hardest thing you may ever do, this one thing you can give
No matter what you’ve done in life, please let your baby live

by Hannah McMichael