Hannah's Heartstrings

“My whole life, I’ve been preparing to be a good wife. I want a good husband. Do you know what it takes to make a good marriage?” (Rachel, Come What May)


In Christian circles, girls constantly talk about how hard it is to wait patiently for their Prince Charming to come. We talk about the struggles of maintaining emotional purity, of being content and all other such topics. This is good for us, and as hard as it sometimes is on our little hearts, as females, we enjoy talking about relationship related things with our fellow girlfriends. It’s how God made us.

But today, my words are for the guys.

We girls sometimes don’t realize how tough gentlemen have it. They have to wade through the sea of Christian girls, hoping to find one that meets their own criteria and isn’t an affected little goose. And to put it simply, guys don’t think about relationships in the same way that girls do. Oh, sure, they think about it. They just are not wired to think about romance 24/7 like girls are. That’s not a bad thing…it’s just how God made them!

With things being the way they are, guys need help sometimes when it comes to finding themselves a girl. I have three brothers…I know. There are some things that guys excel at when it comes to relationships (usually initiating them in the first place). And then there are some things that they just don’t think about. Again, I’m not saying that’s a bad thing! It’s how they are wired! But I think it would help if guys knew better what girls wanted and what was going on in their heads.
Therefore, I’ve compiled a little list of some things that I have learned (most recently, in fact) that guys should know when it comes to courting.
Please note this is all my opinion. I can’t speak for other girls. They may not see these things as important. But I wager there’s a fair amount of girls that do hold these things with high regard. And even if they aren’t crucial things, they will definitely score points.
So without further ado…

Hannah’s Tips for Guys

~Serve. Do for your girl even when you have no assurance that she is your girl.
~Talk. Ask. And Listen!
~Protect her heart. Say nothing and act in no way that would cause her to stumble.
~Until you are in a committed and official relationship, DO NOT monopolize her company or her conversation. She is not yet yours…don’t treat her as such.
~Learn to dance and watch at least one Austen film. It scores points big time. ;)
~Be real and honest. Don’t hold back your “long stories”, your past, your present or your future. Tell her where you’ve been in life and where you want to go. Don’t change you dreams to try to impress her, because if you are phony before marriage, that won’t change after the wedding.
~Respect her dad. Don’t try to get around him. He has raised her, cared for her and loved her since her first breath. You want to step in and take over his treasure. Give him the respect he deserves and in turn you will be respecting her.
~There is fine line you must tread by with caution in your pursuit of a young lady. Strive to win her, but do not demand that she be won. Actively and persistently pursue her, but do so patiently and be prepared to wait quietly for her.
~And again I will say, until she is officially yours, be careful how much of her company and conversation you occupy, for if you monopolize her, you are putting her in situations that may hurt her and make her uncomfortable by having to explain your over abundant presence to her friends and family. Be a friend but keep your distance.

"Fiat Justicia - Et Pereat Mundas.

"...Who is writing your love story: you or God?...Are you willing to wait for God's best, or would your rather settle for a guy you pick out just because you're tired of waiting?

"...As a young woman, I was such a romantic, and God used the leading man in the book of Ruth to introduce me to a sacred romance that surpassed anything I ever read about in literature. For me, Ruth presented a love story that beats all the love stories written since! The good news is: God is still writing love stories.

"...Let God write your love story. Let Him surpass all your expectations with a Man truly Worth Waiting For. Let him bring you your own Boaz, and your love story will be as powerful as he was!"

-Jackie Kendall, A Man Worth Waiting For: How To Avoid A Bozo

"He may not explain to you a thousand things which puzzle your reason in His dealings with you. But if you absolutely sell yourself to be His...slave, He will wrap you up in a jealous love, and bestow upon you many blessings which come only to those who are in the inner circle.

"...Now when you are so possessed with the living God that you are, in your secret heart, pleased and delighted over this peculiar, personal, private, jealous guardianship and management of the Holy Spirit over your life, you will have found the vestibule of Heaven."

-George Douglas Watson, 1845-1924