Hannah's Heartstrings

I’m sitting here looking at the pictures
Remembering all the things you said
And everything you did to make me smile
My heart is so full and yet so empty
I never knew I could miss you so much
And you’ve only been gone a little while

There’s no sure way of knowing
How long till I see your face again
It could be tomorrow, or thirty-some long years
All I can do is keep loving you
Across the miles that seem so far
And wonder if I’ll ever run out of tears

So right now, from my heart to yours…

God be with you till we meet again
Until I can be by your side
Until I can hear your voice and see you smile
Keep your eye on the horizon
And your heart filled with Him
My friend forever, goodbye for a little while

The happy is slowly overtaking the sad
Even though I still miss you so much
My memories will keep me driving on
The jokes we laughed at
The stories we told; reliving them
Makes it feel as though you’ve never gone

I know we shall meet again
On this road called life
Each time better than before
Each day more dear
In my heart and soul
And I know God is smiling for sure

It feels like a dream that ended too soon
But I know you can hear me say…

God be with you till we meet again
Until I can be by your side
Until I can hear your voice and see you smile
Keep your eye on the horizon
And your heart filled with Him
My friend forever, goodbye for a little while


(c)Copyright 2010 Hannah McMichael


*For all my dear friends far and wide whom I miss very much*

I’ve read about the controversy over the all too popular Twilight books and movies and since the topic is on the table, I thought I would add my twenty-five cents.
Some people love it, some hate it. Some read/watch it purely for the ability to criticize it. And just from hearing the opinions expressed by all three parties, and from walking past the nearly life sized posters in stores, I’ve come to the conclusion that I don’t want to be a part of any of those camps. I certainly don’t want to love it, and I have better uses for my energies than hating it. But most importantly I refuse to read or watch it just so I can know why I don’t want to love nor hate it, or to have debate fodder, or simply because I am curious about it. Here is where I believe that many people, particularly my fellow Christians, are treading on dangerous ground.

I know, just from seeing the posters, t-shirts and other various fan materials that Twilight is a bad thing. I can tell from my few unavoidable glimpses that it is emotional pornographic, not to mention evil to the nth degree. I don’t need to read the books to figure that out. I mean, just think about it---it’s about vampires. Vampires. Anyone who knows anything about mythology knows that vampires are evil. They are in the same category as witches, ghosts and goblins. Evil and demonic just barely begin to describe these mythical creatures. So putting them in a position where they are idolized, worshipped, and made the heroes of the story is nothing less than satanic. Sure, there are such creatures in stories like The Lord of the Rings and The Chronicles of Narnia, but the difference is that you know they are evil. They are the bad guys. They are defeated in the end by the ones who stand for what is good and right. How, then, can a story with a completely evil and satanic creature as the “good guy”, the “hero” and ultimately the “prince charming” be something that we, as believers in God, members of the Body of Christ, and temples of the Holy Spirit, should be filling our heads and hearts with? 1 Corinthians 6:19-20, “What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's.” It’s not rocket science. It isn’t that hard to figure out.

We are swimming in shark infested waters when our desire to fit in and find the good in pop culture overrides our consciences and causes us to justify something we know, without a shadow of a doubt, is wrong. We know its wrong---why do we have to prove it? Yes, there are many instances where we do need to read or watch something in order to form our opinions of it. But in the case of Twilight, I don’t see that it is necessary.

We know that J.R.R. Tolkien and C.S. Lewis were Christians. Their Biblical beliefs shine through their writing. Good always triumphs over evil, and the sides are easily distinguishable. Even Star Wars puts good and evil in their right places. Pirates of the Caribbean is a bit questionable, but that is a subject for another essay. However, Twilight is a different story. Evil is portrayed as good. Wrong is justified as right. The satanic, mythical beings are the heroes. Lust is encouraged, and infatuation is idolized.

The last point I mentioned is one particular reason that I refuse to be a part of any Twilight camp. It’s the same reason I’ve never watched High School Musical, Hannah Montana, Harry Potter, or any of the other popular secular infatuations. Obsession with anything but God is wrong. Passion about anything that does not somehow bring glory to God is dangerous. And indulging in something so demonic and so far from God as Twilight is sickening.
I believe this with my whole heart, and am cautioning my dear brothers and sisters in Christ to think and pray very hard, and to examine the true motives of their hearts before reading or watching Twilight. We are called to be lights in this world and reflections of our Savior. Is Twilight so beneficial to this calling? Is it so necessary to fill our hearts with such a vile concoction, merely for the ability to discredit it or argue about it?

If the latest fad was hurling yourself off a bridge, dooming yourself to certain injury and possibly even death, would you do it? Of course not. There is no logic in saying, “Well, I don’t know for sure how bad it is until I’ve tried it. Who knows? Maybe there is some good in it! I’m going to jump and see for myself.” That is just downright stupidity. Yet that seems to be the justifying mentality that I am seeing concerning Twilight; “Oh, perhaps it’s not so bad. There might be some good in it. I’m going to figure out for myself.” What glory is there in saying, “Yes, I read Twilight, and it’s as bad as we thought”? Well, of DUH! We knew that!
If you play with fire long enough, you will get burned. When you cross enemy lines with a cocky, “Hey, look at me! Bet you can’t do this!” attitude, eventually you will find yourself in a prison camp. Yes, some prisoners of war escape, but often some don’t live to talk about it. How many times in our lives have we been told to “just say no to drugs”? We know its not cool to dabble in wrong just to see if we can handle it. 1 Corinthians 10:12, “Wherefore let him that thinketh he standeth take heed lest he fall.”

Again I will say, beware. On the subject of Twilight, we have the chance to stand apart from the world, as we have in so many other things. Let’s not back down, or compromise our morals now. We have so many better uses for our ever shortening time here on this earth. Let’s not waste it looking for the good in the blatantly and deliberately evil. Psalm 90:12, “So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom.”

What if Christ were like Santa Claus,
And came to our homes once year?
Would we wait up all night just for a glimpse?
Or when we saw Him, would we stand up and cheer?
Would we spiff up the house, put lights everywhere,
Just to make sure He could see?
And would we wait in long lines at the shopping malls,
For a chance to just sit on His knee?
Would we set out a snack just especially for Him,
And make sure everything was just right?
Would we wait so impaitiently for the time once a year
When Jesus would be here for one night?
What if Christ were like Santa Claus?
Would we spend as much time preparing?
Would we get as dressed up in our best of clothes?
And spend lots of money decorating?
If Christ were to come to earth this Christmas
And ask you if you'd let him in,
Would your home and your heart be open
And ready to welcome Him?


Copyright (c) Hannah McMichael
November 30, 2006


**Written at age 17. This poem made it onto the back of a church bulletin ;) **

She came to me and told me her story
Filled with betrayal and broken trust
She held back her tears as I held her hand
Her good name crushed and scattered as dust
I stared in disbelief; what could I do?
I couldn’t change the rumors that had been spread
All I could do was stand by her side
As she tried to disprove what they’d said

If only we’d realize
The things our words do
The hurt that they cause
When we don’t think them through
Simply to love
Is God’s greatest command
How can we do that when
We make two sides on which to stand?

I listened in silence for a second time
To words about someone I knew
Someone told someone who told someone else
And they all were convinced it was true
My loyalties divided; who do I trust?
Whose side do I stand on this day?
I see walls erected, the battle begins
Will they gossip now over what I say?

If only we’d realize
The things our words do
The hurt that they cause
When we don’t think them through
Simply to love
Is God’s greatest command
How can we do that when
We make two sides on which to stand?

If I choose to believe the things that they say
On the say-so of other people’s word
I’m no better than those that started the gossip
Just trusting what everyone heard
I choose to find the good and not follow the crowd
Let God say if I’m right or wrong
Because I know if the rumors can stop with me
Then I’ll be in the right all along.

If only we’d realize
The things our words do
The hurt that they cause
When we don’t think them through
Simply to love
Is God’s greatest command
How can we do that when
We make two sides on which to stand?

Drawn to the idea
Drawn to the romance
She sees the chance to make her dreams come true
She questions her values
Questions her life’s song
All the while wondering what she should do
It seems so right, yet feels so wrong
The whispering pull is getting strong

Will she stand
Or will she fall?
Will she answer
The charming call?
Will she wait
Or will she run?
Will she regret it
When it’s done?
Will she stand or will she fall?

He sees the offer
The look that’s so tempting
He’s only one small step away
He wants to hold back
And he wants to give in
He must make his choice today
It seems so right, yet feels so wrong
The whispering pull is getting strong

Will he stand
Or will he fall?
Will he answer
The charming call?
Will he wait
Or will he run?
Will he regret it
When it’s done?
Will he stand or will he fall?

Here you are standing
Thinking and looking
And I see that look in your eyes
You’re at a crossing
Where two roads diverged
For which one will you rise?
One wide, one narrow, one right, one wrong
That whispering pull is getting strong

Will you stand
Or will you fall?
Will you answer
That charming call?
Will you wait
Or will you run?
Will you regret it
When it’s done?
Will you stand or will you fall?

The choices we make affect all our lives
And affect all those around us
If we take the road less traveled by
That will make the difference

Will we stand
Or will we fall?
Will we listen
For Jesus’ call?
Will we wait
Or will we run?
Will God say
“My child, well done”?
Will we stand or will we fall?


Copyright Hannah M. 2009

*Written for the Young Ladies Christian Fellowship (www.ylcf.org) blog carnival “A Peek In Your Day”.*



“Remember He is the artist and you are only the picture. You can't see it. So quietly submit to be painted---i.e., keep fulfilling all the obvious duties of your station (you really know quite well enough what they are!), asking forgiveness for each failure and then leaving it alone. You are in the right way. Walk---don't keep on looking at it.” C.S. Lewis, Collected Letters v. iii

My life is not very hard to describe. I was homeschooled since preschool, graduated in 2008, live at home with my parents and four siblings, maintain an ever widening circle of friends, and love the Lord my God with all my heart. I enjoy writing, reading, graphic and web design and dancing.
But to be honest, that is the rather boring version. If you want to know the least possible about what goes on in my life, there you have it in the three sentences above. However, if I was to tell you all of what God has done and is doing in my little life…well, I’d probably end up writing a book. I may just do that someday. For now, though, so as not to completely overload YLCF, here is a little bit of what I do.
My typical day begins with the normal waking up process of showering, eating my weird breakfast, and taking my vitamin supplements (I’m well known in certain circles for my love of garlic and carob). During the school months, I can be found either helping my siblings with their school work or keeping up on the household chores while my mom helps them. Being true-blue homeschoolers, there are many days where we end up doing a lot more talking than actual book work. We talk about everything…politics, movies, books, friends, North versus South, girls and guys, music, the state of the union, food…you name it, I’m sure one of us has an opinion on it.
Depending on the schedules of the working people in the house, the rest of the day is usually spent doing housework, spending time with my siblings, or, when I can grab the opportunity, spending some quiet time in my room. When I can get this time, I usually write, listen to music, practice swing dancing (yeah, I usually don’t have a partner), play with Adobe Photoshop, read, or even just sit and absorb the quiet.
This week, much of my activity is revolving around preparing to go to a Homeschool Alumni (www.homeschoolalumni.org) get together in Lima Ohio with my dear friends, the Ferrar ladies. I’m so very excited to be getting to spend a total of five days with them, and several dozen other homeschoolers. Amongst the activities planned are English Country dancing (and other forms), going to the Ohio Caverns, and lots and lots of amazingly good Godly fellowship. So as I write this, I am working on packing my suitcase, rehearsing dance calls (as I am going to be the dance mistress!), and making sure everything is in order. :)
After my dad gets home from work, our evening events vary. Most of the time, we’ll watch a movie together, or play a game such as Yahtzee, UpWords, or Boggle. Sometimes we’ll just sit and talk. My brothers might work on school work or read books. Then right around eight o’clock, I take my little sister Grace up to bed. This time of the day is generally my internet time. I spend the next few hours on HSA, Facebook, emailing, putting up blog posts, reading blogs and connecting with my far-away friends. Then I go to sleep. Occasionally I will lie in bed and read or write something…that is when I have a flashlight that works. I’m notorious in our house for killing flashlights. :)
Oh, yes…I should say something about my ministry too, right? Yes. Well, being that this about my daily life, it is appropriate because the ministry I have is something that touches every day of my life. I only recently took up this ministry, and you may be surprised to find it may not be the sort of thing you instantly think of when I say the word ‘ministry’. Most people go into foreign missions, or become pastors, or are involved with various church outreaches. But I must say that I personally have never felt that calling. My calling is to encourage the people that do. And those that don’t. It’s amazing how many people need encouragement and don’t get it. About two years after I joined HomeschoolAlumni.org, I realized that there was an entire community right at my fingertips of people who desperately needed to be encouraged. To be told that everything was going to be alright, to be prayed for, to be told that someone was thinking about them, and that they were loved. If you’ve ever had anyone say any of this to you, you will know felling you get from someone reaching and touching you, even if it is with the simplest two-liner cyber message sent across a thousand miles. That is what I feel my ministry is. I may not be able to do much, but perhaps at some point, my love and my friendship will make a difference somewhere.
In truth, it isn’t my life that is interesting, but instead what Christ is doing through my life. Standing all by itself, my daily calendar is rather dull. But sprinkle the love of the Savior, Christian encouragement, homeschooling, and the Word of God throughout it all, and suddenly you have something worth writing a blog post about. :)
I hope you’ve enjoyed this little glimpse into my life. I’m looking forward to reading the posts of everyone else who is participating in YLCF’s carnival today, as well as the many other writings which I am sure will follow.

If my simple words can reach your ears,
And if I can help to soothe your pain,
If I can show you the colors of my rainbows
And teach you how to dance in the rain
If I can help you find direction
And encourage you to follow through
If I can only be your friend
Maybe I’ll change the world through you

If I can be the one to make you smile
If I can give you the chance to laugh
If my embrace can make you see the hope
Then I have won the race by half
If I can make you feel important
And uplift you in all that you do
If I can show you love and be your friend
Maybe I’ll change the world through you

If I can show you how to see the sunshine
When all the clouds in your sky are grey
If I can change this chapter in your story
And help you make it through another day
If I can be a light in your darkness
And tell you to have courage and stay true
Maybe I’ll be the one that makes a difference
Maybe I’ll change the world through you


(c) 2009 Hannah M.

There’s a funny kind of happiness
That flows through everything
It’s the spark that makes me want to dance
It’s the tune that makes me sing
It turns clouds into rainbows
And urges birds to fly
It builds stairways to mountains
And forms ladders to the sky
It gives me hope and purpose
And puts reason in my rhyme
It shines light into my darkness
As I savor every little bit of time
It paints the colors of sunsets
And makes stories out of words
It turns bitterness and anger into
The most beautiful music I’ve heard
There’s a funny kind of happiness
That conquers grief and strife
It’s what happens when you’re so in love with God
And you trust Him with your life.

(c) Hannah M.

One minute is all I have
To hold you in my arms
As your tiny fingers cling to me
I’ll keep you safe from harm
I smell your hair, you look at me
And give me a little smile
With that I could fly to the moon
Or run a million miles
The little noises that you make
As I rub your small, soft back
Like music in my ear
I feel there’s nothing that I lack
If all I have is this minute
I’ll keep you always in my heart
Sweet little one, a gift from God
You’re a perfect work of art.


(c) 2009 Hannah M.

You hand me a toy
As you pick up your own
And suddenly you’re in a world
So very far from home
You’re the king and the hero
You’re the hunter and the guide
All while playing dinosaurs
And sitting at my side
Little boy, please show me
What makes your eyes shine
Take me to your awesome world
So far away from mine
Little boy, teach me how to play
In this moment I have with you
Give me a part in your story
Teach me to see what you do.


(c) 2009 Hannah M.

I was thinking about
What it would be like
To be at a party
With Jesus Christ.
When the music played
And the singing began
And everyone jumped to their feet
I tried to imagine
Just how I’d feel
When the Savior got up to join in

When Jesus danced
Did the guests stop a moment to watch
Was the room suddenly filled
With the music of angels who’d come
To see Him dance while the others were still
When Jesus danced
Did He wish He was dancing with God
As He wave His arms in the air
Was He filled with a rapturous joy
Oh, how I wish I could have been there
When Jesus danced.

Someday there will be
A celebration
That’ll rival all those of the past
An eternal party
In the mansions above
Where we’ll gather together at last
To watch Jesus dance
And marvel at how His feet move
To see His arms raised in the air
And be filled with a rapturous joy
Oh, how I can’t wait to be there
Watching Jesus dance.

(c) 2009 Hannah M.

Mysterious whisper reaches my heart.
Sweet, solemn voice beckons me hear.
Words simply spoken, a message imparts.
Matchless petition begs me come near.
Where does it come from? Why does it stay
Touching my heartstrings? Willing me know
A secret in a language only I understand.
Magical music that captures my soul.
A beautiful song with words only for me.
Perfected and faithful in patience endure.
The Voice sings his song to my breathless heart.
Holy and virtuous, waiting and pure.
All senses of vision fail me to glimpse
A tangible body or place to belong.
No evident picture to please my wish.
Just a whisper, a voice, a music, a song.
Deep stirs a longing, where once there was none.
Beautiful horizon my heart arises to perceive.
Awakens my imagining to conjure up a dream.
Strengthens and shelters my will to believe.
The Voice calls my heart to search for his own.
Asking me, willing me, begging me find
The place where our voices will join in one song;
Where I am my beloved’s and he is mine.

(c)Hannah M.

"Wannoo play a gdame of Tandyland wis me?"
I haven't heard those words in probably six or seven years. Gracie has just recently found her new favorite game---the timeless "Candyland". She pulled the well-loved game out of the attic and has gotten nearly everyone to play with her. Except me. I guess she knew I was due for a good old round of Sugarworld...I mean Candyland.
I wasn't feeling good. A bad mood seemed to have settled in, and I found myself scowling. I looked and felt a mess. I'd just come in from feeding sixteen puppies and supervising the cleaning out of five rain-soaked kennels. Talk about enough to ruin one's appetite for life. I felt like the last thing I wanted to do was play a board game---all I really wanted to do was escape to my room and write and listen to music in peace.
"Sure." The word automatically popped out of my mouth and I half wondered if it had been someone else who'd said it. "Jus' lemme change my pants." I hadn't tucked the legs of my overalls into my mudboots, so of course, when all the puppies wanted to love me, their wet, sloppy little paws left wet, sloppy little signatures clean up to my knees.
"What tolor d'you wanna be?"
"It doesn't matter. You pick."
"Ok! There's red, and blue, and yellow, and green, and they're all boys, but..." She continued talking on, but I only heard parts, cause I had snuck into the bathroom to get rid of my mud-enhanced overalls. I stared at myself in the mirror momentarily while I was in there. My bangs were flat, my hair looked awful, and my acne was coming back. The shirt I had on did little to help my appearance...it looked boyish, with a faded picture of Snoopy walking across the front. I'm a mess, I mouthed to myself, in rather a tone of acceptance, as if signing myself to my fate with an "Oh well" attitude.
By the time I came back out, Gracie had the entire game set up and was waiting expectantly. I plopped myself on the floor and examined everything. The board was split down the middle and had been duct taped a long time ago, and the edges were worn soft. The cards curled slightly from being shuffled so many times. The plastic people were about the only things that looked the way they probably had in the beginning. Maybe just a tad bit discolored.
Gracie handed me the stack of cards. "You gotta..." She waved her hand in a fast circle. "...do 'um."
Wow, I thought, I'm getting the privilege of shuffling. Dad always used to shuffle. My mind flashed back close to a decade ago. I saw my parents, my three brothers and I lounging on the big bed in Dad and Mom's room. I was usually either the yellow piece or the red piece. The boys always fought over the blue and green pieces. Dad would shuffle the cards, and then pull them for each person's turn. It was far too crazy to let each of us pull our own cards.
"Ok. You go first," I told Gracie. It was easier than trying to decided by other methods who was to get the first turn. After all, I'm almost eighteen...I am far beyond arguing over the first turn! So, mustering up all the maturity I could handle within a board game meant for toddlers, I took the second turn.
The game moved along swiftly for the first twenty or so turns. We both got color cards each time, and I miraculously got ahead. I wondered where all the character cards were. They had to be in there somewhere. Shortly after I passed Princess Lolly, I pulled out my next card...
Gasp! "I got Queen Frostine!!!!!" I slid my piece along the road of rainbow squares to the little pink one with the snowflake on it. King Kandy's Kastle was looking closer than it ever had.
Amazing! I just might win this game!! In all my little kid years of playing Candyland, I had only won about once. I caught on at about the six hundredth game...I couldn't win for the life of me. I don't if the the board and I had some sort of magnetic disagreement or something, but no matter what, I never won.
My excitement deflated, however, when I realized that Queen Frostine was the only character card that had been drawn. So that meant that somewhere, lurking within the pile, were the other ones. I got a sinking inner feeling about getting one of those cards and having to go back.
Maybe I should have taken them out, I thought. That's what Mom and Dad always did. They had to, or else with four kids all under the age of seven, the game would have taken all night.
Sure enough, when I was one space away from King Kandy's, I drew my next card, hoping for a purple. No such luck.
Gramma Nutt.
Gracie giggled and I groaned as I tromped back to the house of peanut brittle. At least she's a kind looking old lady.
The end of the pile came and I re-shuffled them. This time, Queen Frostine decided to shed her fluffy, frozen delight on Gracie. And I got to go spend some time with Plumpy, down by the gingerbread plum trees. Say, why don't we have any of those? Talk about natural sugar! Somebody find me a gingerbread plum tree please!
I analyzed the situation and laughed at myself. Gracie was winning and I was still making my way through the Peppermint Forest. Same song, second verse.
Gracie had one square left, and about five cards in a row weren't the ones she needed. Of course, if you know anything about Candyland, you'll know that a purple square is needed to win the game. I inched my way up past the gumdrop guy (I forget what his name is at the moment), one square at a time. We hadn't even gotten through three-quarters of the stack when Gracie got a purple card.
I had to explain to her that she didn't need a card with King Kandy on it to win. She won with the purple card, because that was the last square she could go on. Funny now, I remember thinking exactly the same thing...why wasn't there a card for King Kandy, or at least one more square denoting the winning spot on the board?
Oh, well. She won anyways. Just as I was trying to sneak by Lord Licorice's castle. Never liked that guy. Why does the evil looking guy have to be made out of licorice? I like licorice.
I had to laugh at myself again. My Candyland legacy lives on. I remain the girl that can never win.
"You wanna play uh-den??"
"Ohhh, no thanks, Gracie. I think I'm good for today."
And you know what? I really think I was.


Written September 28, 2007
(c)Hannah M.

This shall be my blog where I post my writings. Stories, poems, articles, etc. :) Enjoy!!